Westminster Befriend a Family

Every Second Counts: People get ready, there’s a train a comin’

WBAF

Every Second Counts: People get ready, there’s a train a comin’

It’s Monday morning and I have escaped the curse of the crack of dawn blues by way of the sun piercing through my window and blazing its rays onto my face. I find myself in in that heady state where you can almost slightly fool yourself into believing that you are in a foreign country where the sun is an ever present friend.

The sound of Bob Marley’s “Sun Is Shining” begins as I start my walk towards the train station. Once I arrive the hustle and bustle of people intensifies as the rush to get to their varied destinations becomes their only focus. The rose tinted glasses that had guided me on my journey up until this point are about to be altered to a darker shade of grey. I take out one of my headphones.

The platform is overcrowded and the train is running late. The cost of train fares continue to rise while the quality of service maintains a steady flow of free fall. Looking up at the digital time table the general feeling amongst the swelling crowd is one of simmering rage resulting in anger being hurled toward this innocent innominate object in the form of steely glares. A sea of eyes watch the right hand corner of the digital display that shows the expected arrival time for the delayed train and it seems to be escalating frequently, which is then greeted by a crescendo of sighs and kissed teeth.

By the time I catch the first glimpse of the train heading towards me (20 minutes late due to a “signal failure”) I realise that there are only three carriages, and you don’t have to be Einstein to work out there is a about to be a square peg being forced into a round hole situation about to go down.

I take out my remaining headphone and press pause.

Knocking on the carriage window I gestured to a deliberately oblivious passenger in my best dramatic sign language (ok maybe I raised my voice slightly) to convey to them that if they wouldn’t mind moving forward just a couple of paces it would enable more people to get on.  My suggestion was met with compliance by the passenger although done with subtle displeasure.  The crowd around me cheer my affirmative action and we proceeded to squeeze onto the train.

Once on the train I find myself in an uncomfortable position that stretches the parameters of my idea of personal space to their very limits. Not only do I have the pleasure of someone’s hair in my face, I also have the added bonus of being underneath the hovering arm of a man who did not have the “Lynx effect”.

Today it seems many people are in such a rush that they forget to take the time to consider others.

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.”

By just one person addressing the situation and another taking a few steps forward it allowed many more passengers to get onto the train.  When you live in a busy city, time is of the essence and sometimes you can rush past people who are in need without taking them into consideration. Whether it’s the busker singing their heart out or the pregnant woman who needs help carrying her buggy down the stairs it really does not take much to give them a bit of our time. When people pull together life’s journey becomes a far less arduous one.

Headphones back in my ears, I press play……

“To the rescue, here I am”

 

Tyrone Wright
Writer and musician
www.soundrevolutions.blogspot.co.uk

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Every Second Counts…

Please support us by making a text donation.

Your text donations are free! Your network provider won’t charge you for them.
100% of your donation will be used to keep our Family Support Services running.

Text:  Time01  £2 / £5 / £10 to 70070

to donate now!

 

For more information: www.befriendafamily.co.uk/every-second-counts/

Every Second Counts is a campaign run by Westminster Befriend a Family (WBAF) to raise funds to provide practical help and support to disadvantaged families in Westminster who are unable to cope with the debilitating problems they are going through.

 

 

 

You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future

 

Worry is an unwelcomed visitor that if he outstays his welcome will end up stealing from you. A certain amount of worrying can be healthy, allowing us to give our best and not take any unnecessary chances. But excessive worry doesn’t bring with it any benefits. It just takes.

While we are worrying we are physically in the present but mentally in the past or the future. Worrying excessively actually robs us of:

  • Joy
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Peace
  • Relationships
  • Our appetite
  • Good job performance
  • Time

In fact it robs us of life.

Fear alerts us to danger and can save our lives: ‘fight or flight’ – adrenaline is released and channelled to get us out of danger. Pain tells us that there is something wrong somewhere, either physically or mentally – something that needs our attention so that we can get it healed and get back to good health. But excessive worry paralyses us from taking any rational, meaningful, or productive action. When you worry your body releases adrenaline but if the adrenaline isn’t used to get us out of danger it goes to our digestive system where it causes feelings of ill-health, and can lead to debilitating illnesses.

Don’t entertain the thief

In the same way that we protect our houses from being broken into by thieves when we are part of a neighbourhood watch scheme, or by putting adequate locks and alarms around the house, we should also set up mental barriers and alarms for when the thief, Worry, wants to rob us.

Instead of letting worry have a party in the rooms of your mind at your expense, take positive determined action to do something that would get your mind engaged: showing him that the lights are on, someone IS at home, and he’s not welcome there.

Don’t focus on what you can’t control.

When you focus on what is out of your control, you are putting yourself in a lose- lose situation: you can’t do anything to help yourself, and you are getting depressed by thinking about it.  It’s just a downward spiral. The fuel for your worrying is your attention. The more attention you give to the negative thoughts the stronger they grow.

We are drawn to whatever we focus on.

When you are driving a car, before you turn left you think about it, you look left, and then follow the path that you have seen. It’s the same principle with the human mind. We act on what we see or create in our minds. If we create doubt or worry, that’s the path that we will go down, leading to a roundabout that we enter but never exit. We need to focus on a route that steers away from doubt and onto something that empowers or supports us. Focus on positive things that bring us joy.

Don’t be a victim. Be empowered!

In life good things happen to people as well as bad things. The sooner we come to terms with that, the sooner we can break out of the paralysis of worry.  Instead of worrying and being a victim, try to empower yourself by asking questions like:

  • What good can come out of this situation?
  • How is this the best thing that has happened to me?
  • What have I learned from this?

Thief repellent

  • Go to bed making positive affirmations about yourself.
  • Wake up making positive affirmations about yourself.
  • Make a list of things to be thankful about and speak them out. Do you have the ability to hear? Some people don’t. Do you have the ability to see? Some people can’t. Do you have friends? Imagine going through life without the ability to see and appreciate beautiful things.
  • Make a point of just thinking about positive things, and not talking negatively about anything. Try that for a whole week… one day at a time, and then extend it.
  • Exercise routinely. Exercise is a great release for adrenaline and time to focus on building yourself up physically.

Another way of getting your mind off of problems that you have no control over is by helping people with their problems. You can do this by helping a neighbour or volunteering at a local charity that helps the homeless, children suffering with cancer, or people in hospices.

This could help in many ways:

  • it helps the sufferer,
  • it helps you to make positive use of your time,
  • it gives you a feeling of achieving something good and worthwhile,
  • it can take your mind of what you have been worrying about, and
  • it can even allow you to put your worries into perspective (even though they may be perfectly valid).

Some people like to share problems by talking to someone that they trust. They say that a burden shared is a burden halved. Whilst it won’t resolve your issue it can help to give you some perspective, encouragement, and maybe even help. Counselling services are very good at getting people to talk through their problems and explore ways of coping or dealing with difficult situations.

So, mirror, signal, manoeuvre…

 

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

 

Useful websites:

http://www.mind.org.uk

 

Nat Cato
Communications Team

Every Second Counts…

Please support us by making a text donation.

Your text donations are free! Your network provider won’t charge you for them.
100% of your donation will be used to keep our Family Services running.

Text:  Time01  £2 / £5 / £10 to 70070

to donate now!

 

For more information: www.befriendafamily.co.uk/every-second-counts/

Every Second Counts is a campaign run by Westminster Befriend a Family (WBAF) to raise funds to provide practical help and support to disadvantaged families in Westminster who are unable to cope with the debilitating problems they are going through.


Every Second Counts…

 

In 2001 I was admitted to hospital: a black man, turning white, throwing up in green, and later hallucinating in orange. 

Hitting the rewind button <<

Day 1
I had eaten a lukewarm beef pie the day before and was feeling a growing stomach discomfort.

Day 2
Amidst the stomach pain and perspiration, I was woken in the night by the most intense pain I had felt in my life.  I assumed the foetal position and suddenly felt a massive explosion in my stomach.  I cried out accordingly. *(*UIIIIIIIIIHAAArrrhhhhhhhhh…ow!

Day 3
In a typical bloke’ish way, I assessed the situation, put it down to a bad experience, and was ready to move on – no more beef pies for me then!

Day 4
I wasn’t in pain but was feeling weak, uncomfortable. At 9pm I started to throw up – in green.  I began to really panic. Unable to get through to my GP, I contacted NHS Direct who after hearing my symptoms told me to call an ambulance – IMMEDIATELY!

Five hours later, I was lying in a hospital corridor on a trolley waiting to be examined by a doctor – who had just put on ‘the old Marigold Gloves.’ It turned out that my appendix had burst and my woeful assessment of the symptoms could have led to my early demise. The toxins that were in my appendix had infected my abdomen: I had peritonitis (the cause of my colourful regurgitate) and could so easily have died.

Symptoms
Just like an inflamed appendix a lot of the problems that are responsible for breaking families up, lie beneath the surface and are only brought to light when they display symptoms. If they are wrongly diagnosed, ignored, or left to chance, the inflamed situation may explode leaving behind fatalities.

When bad things happen to us, if there is no one around to help us understand or help us through the situation we try to make sense of it ourselves. If we misread the situation or are preconditioned with an inaccurate assessment of our situation, or of ourselves, we can make wrong decisions that can have painful or life-changing circumstances.

At Westminster Befriend a Family we put on our ‘marigold gloves’ and attend to those who are shunted into one of life’s corridors. We help families that are going through stressful and often debilitating situations: homelessness, abuse, depression, and poverty.

For those who are in desperate need and unable to help themselves – Every Second Counts…

Please support us by making a text donation.

Your text donations are free! Your network provider won’t charge you for them.
100% of your donation will be used to keep our Family Services running.

Text:  Time01  £2 / £5 / £10 to 70070

to donate now!

 

Thank you

Nat Cato
Communications Team

 

For more information: www.befriendafamily.co.uk/every-second-counts/

Every Second Counts is a campaign run by Westminster Befriend a Family (WBAF) to raise funds to provide practical help and support to disadvantaged families in Westminster who are unable to cope with the debilitating problems they are going through.